Mixed Messages
Is your voice mail giving the wrong impression?

Does this greeting sound familiar? “I’m either on my phone or away from my desk.” No kidding. Pathetic.

“No, no, Jeffrey,” you say. “I tell people it’s Monday and I’ll be in meetings in the morning and in the office in the afternoon.” Pathetic.

I don’t care what you’re doing. I called to talk to you. Why do I need to know that you are away from your desk? Why do I need to know that you’re in a meeting? Answer: I don’t need to know. What I want is to get you on the phone, that’s why I called.

Many companies have two voice mail systems. One is where a computer answers the phone and informs me that for “my convenience” or “to serve me better” I can select from the following nine options. So by the time I reach your silly voice mail, I’m annoyed times two. And then there’s that added element of rudeness when I call and ask for you and the live attendant sends me directly to your voice mail without having the courtesy to tell me you’re not there.

Pardon my rant, but what I’ve just given you is a solid reason for your customer to go to your competition, where their people might be friendly and more helpful.

So, here are some ideas to spice up your voice mail. You see, people who buy your stuff talk to other people who buy your stuff. Your voice mail is a key to getting new customers and creating word-of-mouth advertising.

• A short message with a hint or tip. For example, tell me one thing I can do to profit from the use of your product. Number them and change the message weekly.
• A thoughtful quote. The Internet will give you millions. This must be changed daily.
• Celebrity impersonation. Find someone who does voices – or do a bad one yourself. Rodney Dangerfield: “I can’t get no respect – but you can get a returned phone call!”
• Your kid. “Hi, I’m Dave’s costly accident, Jason. He’s out earning my college tuition. You can help by leaving a message that includes an order.”
• Something funny. Say this in a somewhat weary voice: “I’m just one man and it’s a big world.”
• Something funny about your product or your business: “Hi, you’ve reached Tom. I am out saving the world one box at a time. Please leave a message and I’ll try to find a cardboard carton to save your world.”
• A testimonial from a customer. “Hi, I’m Dave Smith from ABC Plumbing. Joe is over here right now taking care of our account like he has for the past 10 years. Please let him take care of yours.”
• Something off-the-wall. Many people – bosses – are uncomfortable by off-the-wall messages and sometimes the customer will not like an off-the-wall message. BUT, off-the-wall messages will be talked about the most. “Hi. I am probably here; I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.”

My present cellular phone message is: “Hi, this is Jeffrey. I wish I could talk to you but I can’t. Please leave your American Express card number with expiration date and I’ll get right back to you.” It’s fun, it’s memorable, and it’s non-offensive.

Four more rules:

• Make it short. 35 words maximum.
• Script it. Rehearse it. Then record it.
• Change the message often. Weekly is best.
• Listen to comments carefully. They will tell you how good your message is or isn’t.

If you claim to be different from your competition, a GREAT place to start is your recorded message.

Jeffrey Gitomer is the author of The Sales Bible, and Customer Satisfaction is Worthless, Customer Loyalty is Priceless. He can be reached at 704/333-1112 or e-mail to salesman@gitomer.com.

Back to Sales Index

Back to October Issue

Copyright 1996-2003, by Kentucky Business Online.  All rights reserved.

Editorial content is copyright 2003, Lane Communications Group
All editorial material is fully protected and must not be reproduced in any manner without prior permission.

The Lane Report is a trademark of Lane Communications Group.  All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners.