Two-Inch Porkchops and Mile-High Pie
Nobody’s watching their weight at Patti’s in Grand Rivers

Though the Western Kentucky town of Grand Rivers can claim only 350 residents and one very friendly “town dog,” folks from all over the country flock to this tiny mecca on a spit of land between Kentucky Lake and Lake Barkley. Granted, many come to play on the water or to explore the 170,000-acre Land Between the Lake national recreation area.

But each year more than 250,000 follow their rumbling stomachs to Patti’s 1880’s Settlement. Between its famous two-inch charbroiled pork chops – over a million of which have been wolfed down to date – and “mile-high pies” that tower eight meringue-inches tall, this multifaceted attraction has become a virtual nirvana for hearty appetites.

“Actually, we cater to the fat people,” Michael Tullar, who owns Patti’s with his brother Chip, laughs as he pats his own ample girth. “You can tell. There isn’t a skinny Tullar among us! If you have to count your calories, you don’t want to eat at Patti’s.”

Now far more than the 450-seat eat-til-you-pop dining establishment that was Kentucky Tourism’s number one tourism restaurant in the mid-90s, the Settlement encompasses a coffee and dessert shop, five gift shops, a wedding chapel, an 1880-era mansion, 18-hole miniature golf course and a veritable zoo. The Tullars’ holdings also include another restaurant two blocks down called The Iron Kettle (same homestyle cooking and a Sunday brunch to die for), nearby Ridge Top Mall, a row of small specialty shops, and a short block of retail stores just across Main Street, where that dog is apt to be lounging on the center line.

In all fairness, Patti’s does have three “lite” offerings on its extensive menu, but most visitors are looking to chow down on the home cooked victuals that Patti Tullar, Michael’s mom, began offering to the public back in 1977 at Hamburger Patti’s Ice Cream Parlor.

A claims adjuster for the Small Business Administration, family patriarch Bill Tullar first came to West Kentucky in 1975 to assess recent flood damage in Grand Rivers, where he stayed in a tiny six-room motel. Struck by the beauty of the area, he called his wife in Florida to tell her they could buy the motel for only $12,000.

“Everybody laughed at him for spending so much money,” says Michael. “That was the beginning.”

On to the Grand Rivers Motel, they added a spacious living room and a bathroom to house Patti’s cast iron footed bathtub. That living room became the first dining room and the bathroom is now a “one-holer” where somber “Indian Joe” sits in the claw-foot tub and causes shrieks of surprise from first time users.

In 1977 Patti enticed son Chip and his partner, Michael Lee, whom the elder Tullars considered their “adopted son,” from Los Angeles to the bucolic berg to help get the restaurant rolling. In those early days Patti would cook breakfast while Chip waited tables. In the evenings, they’d switch roles. The family bought a nearby mansion, built in the 1880s by the multimillionaire founder of Grand Rivers, Thomas Lawson, and now on the National Register of Historic Places.

Living in San Diego in 1982, Michael Tullar was a computer repairman just out of the Navy when his mother then lured him to Kentucky with visions of two gorgeous lakes and ample hunting, fishing, boating and water skiing. He became cook, kitchen manager and head carpenter.

“The first summer we had a runabout,” he recalls. “We’d go out boating and skiing, just like Mom said. But that winter we sold the boat, bought ovens with the money and it’s been downhill ever since. Now we don’t even see the lake except to drive by and watch other people on it.”

As Patti’s grew, the family knocked out walls, adding another dining room and gift shop, then repeated the process several years later. In 1984 Patti’s of Glasgow enjoyed a three-year run, until Chip wearied of driving from the lake region to that South Central Kentucky city. And the same year, another Tullar eating establishment, Patti’s on the Pier, began a successful five-year run at Green Turtle Bay, a resort right on Kentucky Lake.

Deciding to devote their energies back on home territory, the Tullar sons added a huge kitchen and another restaurant named for their dad. At Mr. Bill’s, motor coach groups could sing and dance to the strains of a honky tonk piano, then ogle a bevy of beasts outside that began with Bandit the raccoon and multiplied to include potbellied pigs, pheasants, chickens, turkeys, emus and a gaggle of geese and ducks.

Originally greeting guests by the front parking lot, the animals were moved to the rear of the property, Tullar says, “when wedding guests kept complaining about the smell.”

In 1989 Patti’s acquired Ridge Top Mall and the Iron Kettle Restaurant and in the 1990s work began on the Settlement area that nestles around the original restaurant.

A two-story log home from Burna, Kentucky, was transformed into a ladies’ boutique, and the former Possum Trot Post Office, old Graves County Jail and an Illinois corn crib teamed up to become a gift shop complex. Rough cedar, antiques and stained glass became the trademark decor. Ponds and creeks with waterfalls now lace a garden area whose hub is an old-fashioned water wheel (a favorite photo spot) and rocking chairs, bentwood loveseats and park benches dissolve your resolve to walk around and work off that scrumptious pie.

The miniature golf course was so good when first built in 1993 that it was on the professional tour. “The pros would play six rounds,” explains Tullar, “and none would ever get the same score because it’s so challenging.”

Cramming more than fourteen people into a Tom Thumb-scale chapel became a challenge, and in 1997, a wedding gazebo that can accommodate up to 200 was constructed smack in the middle of a circle of log shops. Nothing if not full service, Patti’s has a cabin where brides can change and will even refer a preacher. As of May, 65 services already were booked for 2001.

The roof line of today’s main eating space reflects its growth spurts. The Garden Room used to be a garden, the Trophy Room once housed animal and fish trophies, and the main gift shop stands on the site of Michael’s trailer home. Expansion just sort of evolves in the Settlement, says Tullar, who’d like to build a bigger play area, a larger chapel, and a bed and breakfast, though the latter would involve moving all the animals again.

During the holidays, Patti’s becomes a sparkling spectacle. “In our own little way, we try to compete with Opryland Hotel,” Tullar laughs. “They put a quarter of a million lights on one tree. We spread a quarter million over three acres.”

Open year round except for four days around Christmas Day, the complex bustles with 200 to 250 employees. Some hawk Patti’s seasoning, sauces and cookbooks, while others – smiling waitstaff clad in long flowered 1880s dresses and starched aprons – convince you to save “just a little room” for a piece of coconut cream, chocolate or lemon meringue pie. It’s an easy sell.

“Those are my mom’s,” Tullar says, smiling. “We have fifteen different pies, but the mile-high meringues are the most popular. They have at least a dozen egg whites in each pie.”

Though around six dozen tour buses book a stop here each year, Mr. Bill’s has shed its Gay ’90s theme to become another dining room. On a Saturday night, upwards of 1,300 hungry souls are sated, many having driven from as far away as St. Louis, Memphis and Evansville. Good food and hospitality, said Tullar, are the reasons they come. And Patti’s makes that easy, offering a round trip shuttle from the Kentucky Dam Village Airport and three area marinas.

“My mom had a saying,” he explains. “It’s like inviting people into your living room in your home, and you treat your guests as friends of your family.”

Though Bill and Patti have passed away, their sons carry on the tradition, blessed with strong genes for appreciating good home cooking.

“No matter where I go,” Michael says, “I’m always thinking, ‘Man, I should’ve brought my pork chop seasoning and pork chop sauce with me and shown these guys how to cook a good meal.’”

Katherine Tandy Brown is a staff writer for The Lane Report.
editorial@lanereport.com

Back to Tourism Index

Back to July Issue

Copyright 1996-2001, by Kentucky Business Online.  All rights reserved.

Editorial content is copyright 2001, Lane Communications Group
All editorial material is fully protected and must not be reproduced in any manner without prior permission.

The Lane Report is a trademark of Lane Communications Group.  All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners.